What Are the Top 5Estate Planning Mistakes LGBTQ+ Couples Make?
Estateplanning can feel intimidating, and for LGBTQ+ couples, the stakes are evenhigher.
Toooften, the law has been slow to recognize and protect our families. Whileprogress has been made, the current political climate reminds us that rightscan shift, and protections we rely on today may not always be guaranteedtomorrow.
Infact, there are growing concerns that Obergefellv. Hodges, the Supreme Court case that legalized same-sex marriagenationwide, could be overturned in the future. If you’re confused about what this Supreme Court decision could mean,check out our in-depth blog post on the topic.
That’swhy taking proactive estate planning steps goes far beyond paperwork. We’retalking about securing dignity, protecting chosen family, and affirming youridentity no matter what changes come.
Unfortunately,many couples (both married and in domestic partnerships) make avoidablemistakes when it comes to LGBTQ+ estate planning. Here are the top five and howto avoid them.
Relying Solely on Marriage Equality forBeneficiary Designations
Formany queer couples, marriage equality felt like the finish line. In reality, itis only one step toward true protection.
Whilemarriage can offer significant rights, such as inheritance and healthcaredecision-making, not every LGBTQ+ couple is married, and not every familystructure fits neatly into the legal definition of marriage.
Evenfor couples who are married, marriage doesn’t automatically protect chosenfamily. If you want siblings, close friends, or a partner who isn’t legallyyour spouse to have legal authority or inheritance rights, that needs to bespelled out in your documents.
Example: Imagine two women who have lived together aspartners for 20 years but never married. If one passes away without a will, thesurviving partner could inherit nothing, while estranged biological relatives(who may not even accept the relationship) could inherit everything.
What to do:
● Draft a will and trust that reflect yourfamily, not the state’s definition.
● Include chosen family members, whether or notthey’re legally related.
● Don’t assume marriage equality covers everyaspect of your life.
Takingthis step ensures your family is defined by love and respect, rather than byoutdated legal defaults or marital status.
Forgetting to Name HealthcareDecision-Makers
Hospitalsoperate by default: if you don’t have paperwork in place, decisions fall tonext-of-kin.
ForLGBTQ+ couples, that can be devastating. Without explicit authorization,same-sex spouses or partners may be excluded, and hostile family members may begiven authority instead.
Thisproblem becomes even more urgent for transgender and non-binary people.Healthcare systems can misgender patients or disregard identity if clearinstructions aren’t documented. That’s not only demeaning but also dangerouswhen it comes to high-stakes medical decisions.
Example: A trans man is admitted to a Columbus, Ohiohospital after an accident. Without a healthcare directive naming his partneras decision-maker (and without his pronouns and identity specified), hospitalstaff and healthcare providers default to his parents, who refuse toacknowledge his gender identity.
Theresult: decisions made against his wishes, in a setting where affirming hisdignity matters most.
What to do:
● Draft an advance directive that names yourchosen decision-maker(s).
● Include pronouns, name, and gender identityexplicitly in your documents.
● Carry a wallet card or digital copy foremergencies.
Thisone step offers peace of mind that your wishes will be honored — and youridentity respected.
Not Protecting Children in Non-TraditionalFamilies
ForLGBTQ+ parents, the law doesn’t always keep pace with reality. Biologicalconnections are often given priority, leaving non-biological parents andblended families vulnerable.
Insome states, courts still treat same-sex parenting arrangements as lesslegitimate, creating risks if estate planning documents aren’t in order.
Example: A lesbian married couple raises a childtogether, but only one is the biological parent. If the biological parent diesunexpectedly without guardianship established in writing, the surviving partnermay have no legally recognized right to custody. The child could be placed withrelatives who don’t support LGBTQ+ families, even though the child has beenraised by both mothers since birth.
What to do:
● Secure second-parent adoption whereverpossible.
● Name guardians for minor children in yourwill.
● Draft parenting agreements that clearly spellout roles and responsibilities.
Yourchildren deserve stability, and you deserve the peace of mind that comes withknowing your family will remain whole and protected.
Overlooking Protection for FinancialAffairs
Withouta will or trust, state intestacy laws decide where your assets pass. These lawstypically prioritize biological family over chosen family or unmarriedpartners.
ForLGBTQ+ couples, that can leave partners, loved ones, or even surviving spousesvulnerable, even if you’ve built a life together.
Example: A man dies unexpectedly, leaving behind hislong-term partner. Because they weren’t married and he didn’t have a will, hisestate passed to his parents, who never accepted his sexuality. The partner isleft with nothing — not even the home they shared.
What to do:
● Draft a will that names your partner and/orchosen family as beneficiaries.
● Consider a trust to avoid probate and keepyour estate private.
● Keep beneficiary designations (retirementaccounts, life insurance) up to date.
Ultimately,financial planning is about money, but it’s also about protecting the peoplewho matter most to you. If you haven’t already, discuss your financial affairswith a Columbus LGBTQ+ estate planning attorney this year.
Waiting Too Long for Proper EstatePlanning
Themost common estate planning mistake isn’t about marriage, money, or paperwork;it’s about timing.
Toomany couples put off estate planning because it feels overwhelming, expensive,or unnecessary “for now.” Currently, only 45% of U.S. adults have created estate planning documents, and60% of people with no estate planning documents have not made any effort tostart.
Butin reality, life is unpredictable. The best time to plan is before you need it.
Forthe LGBTQ+ community, there’s added urgency. The political climate is shifting,with proposals like Project 2025 openly questioning the stability of LGBTQ+rights.
Whileno one can predict the future, proactive planning creates a legal safety netthat protects your dignity and your loved ones, no matter what laws come next.
What to do:
● Don’t wait for a crisis to start the process.
● Begin with the essentials: a living will, ahealthcare directive, and a power of attorney.
● Build from there with trusts, guardianships,and other protections.
Estateplanning prepares you for the end of life, but equally important, it allows youto live today knowing your family, identity, and future are protected.
Protect What Matters Most With Our LGBTQEstate Planning Attorneys
At ALH Law Group, we believe family is defined by love, notgender. As a proud queer-owned law firm, we understand firsthand the importanceof protecting chosen family and honoring identity through adequate legalarrangements.
Estateplanning gives LGBTQ+ couples the tools to make sure the law recognizes whatyour heart already knows: who you love, who you trust, and who you want by yourside.
Whetheryou’re legally married, partnered, raising children, or relying on chosenfamily, you deserve legal protections that reflect your truth. Additionally, you deserve them in a supportive space,with advocates who understand the unique challenges faced within same sexrelationships and common law marriages.
Yourfuture is too important to leave to chance. Let’s take action together toprotect your rights, defend legal unions, honor your identity, and give you thepeace of mind you deserve.
Startyour journey today. Schedule a consultation with ALH Law Group in Columbus, Ohio andtake control of your estate planning concerns. We’re also here to help withother family law and business matters.
