Your relationship is real, valid, and worth protecting. Yet for couples who are not married, the law doesn’t always keep pace with how families are lived and loved today.
In a time when rights and protections feel uncertain, especially for LGBTQ+ partners and those who define family outside traditional norms, the question becomes: will your bond be recognized when decisions need to be made?
A clear estate plan provides protection. It’s how you affirm your partner, honor your wishes, and make sure the life you’ve built together is respected, no matter what the future holds.
At ALH Law Group, we know that unmarried couples face distinct challenges that married partners rarely have to think twice about. Without a clear plan, your partner may have no legal authority in emergencies, no guaranteed share of your property, and no protection if families or institutions step in to make decisions on your behalf.
That gap can feel unsettling, especially in situations where “chosen family” is central and where rights have historically been questioned or rolled back.
That gap is exactly why planning matters. Here’s how you can defend each other through legal protections.
Why Legal Planning Is So Personal for Unmarried Partners
Without the legal bond of marriage, the default rules don’t protect your partner. If something happens to you, the law will typically look to blood relatives first, not the person you’ve built your life with. That can mean:
- Medical decisions made without the other partner’s input. Hospitals usually defer to next-of-kin unless you have healthcare directives in place. A cohabitation agreement doesn’t necessarily put your partner in a position to make choices.
- Inheritance that excludes your chosen family. Without a will, named beneficiaries and/or trust, state laws decide who inherits, which rarely reflects modern relationships. From your retirement assets to your life insurance policy, you want to have a voice in what goes to whom.
- Housing and financial insecurity. If your name isn’t on the deed, lease, or bank account, your partner may be left vulnerable or in a poor financial position.
These scenarios can feel harsh, but they’re real and preventable. Taking proactive steps now means you’re choosing love and clarity over uncertainty.
Estate Planning Tools That Protect What Matters Most
For unmarried couples or registered domestic partners, estate planning is about making your relationship undeniable in the eyes of the law. Some of the most supportive tools include:
1. Wills and Trusts (Beneficiary Designations)
A will or trust is the foundation of protecting your surviving partner after you’re gone. Without it, state law decides who inherits your property, and that default almost never includes unmarried partners or chosen family. By creating a will, you can clearly name your surviving partner in beneficiary designations and avoid unintended tax consequences.
A trust can go even further, helping avoid probate court delays and adding privacy around your wishes. Both documents send a clear message: your partner matters, and the life you’ve built together is worth protecting. Both also help prevent unnecessary legal battles or potential conflicts.
You can also name beneficiaries on financial instruments like 401k, life insurance, bank accounts, and real estate. This would allow you to designate the person or persons who receives the asset upon your death. Utilizing this step allows your chosen family or unmarried partner to receive the asset outside of probate and largely exempt from challenges.
2. Durable Powers of Attorney (Financial Decisions and Health Care)
Emergencies can leave you unable to speak for yourself. A durable power of attorney gives the person you trust authority to step in, whether that’s paying bills, handling property, or making health care choices.
For LGBTQ+ couples, this can be especially meaningful: it’s the legal tool that guarantees your unmarried partner’s voice carries weight in moments when others might try to exclude them. Including pronouns, gender identity, and preferred names in these documents helps make sure your identity and dignity are honored in every part of the legal process.
3. Living Wills and Advance Directives
A living will, sometimes called an advance directive, gives your partner the ability to advocate for the type of care you want if you can’t express it yourself. This might include decisions about medical treatments, end-of-life care, how your wishes should be carried out in a hospital setting, or even funeral arrangements.
Having these documents in place protects your autonomy, but it also relieves your loved one from having to make heartbreaking financial and legal decisions in the dark. It’s an act of care for both of you, especially in critical moments.
4. Hospital Visitation Authorizations
Hospitals usually turn to next-of-kin when deciding who can visit and learn about medical care. For unmarried couples, that can mean your partner is left in the waiting room, even during the most urgent moments.
A hospital visitation authorization changes that. With it, you affirm your partner (or your chosen family members) has the unquestionable right to be by your side. In times of crisis, that comfort and presence matter more than anything.
Why LGBTQ+ Couples Face Added Risks
The LGBTQ+ community knows that laws shift, protections can be tested, and chosen families are not always respected by default. That reality makes planning feel even more urgent.
We’ve seen people in domestic partnerships denied access at hospitals, families of origin take over estates and remaining assets, and long-term relationships erased in moments of crisis. Having the right legal documents in place helps you stand together and say, “Our bond matters, and it will be honored.”
At ALH Law Group, we offer a supportive space where your family structure is affirmed and your choices respected. Whether your circle includes a partner, chosen family, or both, we know how unmarried couples can best protect themselves.
FAQs About Estate Planning for Unmarried Couples
1. Why do LGBTQ+ couples need estate planning even if marriage is legal?
While marriage provides some protections, it doesn’t cover everything. LGBTQ+ and/or unmarried couples can face challenges around chosen family, healthcare decisions, and inheritance laws that marriage alone doesn’t solve. Estate planning helps make sure your partner, identity, and wishes are honored without leaving room for doubt.
2. What documents help protect my partner if we’re not married?
Key documents include a will, trust, power of attorney (financial power and health care wishes), living will/advance directive, and hospital visitation authorization. These tools give your partner legal authority and recognition that the default laws won’t provide.
3. What is “chosen family,” and can I include them in my plan?
Absolutely. Many LGBTQ+ people rely on chosen family: partners, friends, and loved ones who may not be legally related. Your estate plan can include anyone you define as family, making sure they are recognized and protected in ways the law won’t do automatically.
4. Can estate planning help protect us if laws or protections change in the future?
Yes. While no one can predict political shifts, having a clear, legally binding estate plan is one of the strongest ways to protect your relationship and chosen family. If protections like Obergefell v. Hodges (the case that recognized marriage equality nationwide) were ever weakened or overturned, LGBTQ+ couples could suddenly face major gaps in recognition and rights.
Estate planning provides a defense against that uncertainty. It affirms your wishes, protects your partner, and honors the family you’ve built together, regardless of how the legal landscape may shift.
Let’s Take the Next Step Together
Estate planning can feel intimidating, but it’s really about love and protection. We want to make sure the person who knows you best—the one you share a home, dreams, or chosen family with—has a voice when it matters most.
Our LGBTQ+ estate planning attorneys are here to walk with you through the process, answer your questions, and build a plan that gives you peace of mind.
If you and your partner are ready to protect your future together, schedule a consultation today. Let’s create a plan that respects your relationship and protects the people you love most, whether you’re a married couple or in another arrangement.
